Don't Squat with Yer Spurs On!

Selected words of wisdom from "A Cowboy's Guide to Life," volumes I and II, by Texas Bix Bender:

1. Never take to sawin' on the branch that's supportn' you, unless you're bein' hung from it.


2. A lot of good luck is undeserved, but then so is a lot of bad luck.


3. Go after life as if it's something that's got to be roped in a hurry before it gets away.


4. Don't let so much reality into your life that there's no room left for dreamin'.


5. Ain't never seen a wild critter feelin' sorry for itself.


6. Honesty is not something you should flirt with -- ou should be married to it.


7. Avoid flasharity, foofaraw, and fumadiddle in dress, speech, and conduct. leave the peacocking for the peacocks.


8. You can't weigh the facts if yo'uve got the scales loaded down with your opinions.


9. When you forgive and forget, forget that you forgave while you're at it.


10. The best way to knock a chip off a shoulder is with a friendly pat on the back.


11. Work lessat worrying and more at working.


12. Advice is like a pot of chili: You should try a little of it yourself before you give anybody else a taste.


13. If you ain't pullin' your weight, you're pushin' your luck.


14. Nothin' keeps you honest more than witnesses.


15. The purest metal comes out of the greatest heat.


16. You're not being diplomatic just because you put "please' in front of "shut the hell up."


17. Smetimes it takes a lot more thinkin' to deal with changes than to make 'em.


18. You'll feel better when it quits hurtin'.


19. The bigger the mouth, the better it looks shut.


20. You can't tell how far a frog can jump by its croak.


21. Always walk tall and keep your head up -- unless you're walkin' in a cow pasture.


22. The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.

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Thanks to A.W.