In thinking about confidence, many people get discouraged because of a non-supportive doubting loop
they have that has them circle in and around not feeling particularly confident, trying again anyway, but messing things up ... again ... which only strengthens the I-don't-feel-so-confident
part all the more.
Can anything be done about this?
Well, you can certainly try to not try as much! But, if it's your turn to step to the plate, more likely than not, you really can't say, "Sorry, I'd rather not." If you can, though, it might be a nice temporary respite for you every now and then.
More likely, though, when it's your turn, it's your turn
, and there's no getting away from it.
Enter the Confidence Radial©
Developed several years ago by yours truly, the Confidence Radial recognizes the circularity
inherent in the confidence dynamic, but puts it to better use, as the following diagram shows:
It all starts with acting like you already have the power
. But this simple notion goes beyond just trying. It speaks to trying ... again ... with the expectation
that you can, indeed, succeed. In order to succeed, though, you need to "know what you know." And to do that, some research is required.
Then, armed with that research, you can begin to interact with others on that topic - not so much to show off what you
know, but to find out what they
know. And, because you'll likely understand what they're saying, they'll be likely to help you expand
the conversation by referring you to other knowledgeable/interested contacts (if you ask).
From there, you network with them on the same topic, which will help them get to know who you are and how you think. And from there, you now have several new connections who can help you feel more confident as you talk about this, and other topics of interest to those you do and don't know. (I'm defining contacts
, here, as people you know, and connections
as people who know you
So the key to jumping out of that Doubting Loop? Jump in to the Confidence Radial. All you need is something you're interested in knowing more about.
For more on the Confidence Radial: www.ggci.com/confidence
Labels: Interpersonal Networking, Success at Work