"The Marketing Gods Must be Crazy"

(... from an article of the same name by Paul Lukas in the September 2005 issue of Fast Company magazine, page 34 ...)

For a long time, the reason to drink Diet Coke was "Just for the Taste of It." Things are a lot more complex these days as Coke marketers parse demographic segmentsa nd createdrinks for each niche. There's now a new Diet Coke sweetened with Splenda and Coca-Cola Zero, which, as its name implies, has zero calories - as opposed to the regular and Splenda versions of Diet Coke, both of which have, um, zero calories. And then there's still Coke's original no-cal cola, Tab. All of which leads to some very creating marketing-speak.

Diet Coke -

• Launched - 1982
• Brand message as found on Coke.com website - "Diet Coke is your style, it's your sass. It's doing what makes you happy ... So flirt, laugh, dance, prance, giggle, wiggle - do what feels good."
• Brand message as reported by SVP of Coca-Cola Brands - "The adult cola taste that uplifts with style - it's a very stylish brand. It's upscale. It's sophistication, but an invitational sophistication."
• Flavor Profile per Coca-Cola's spokesman - "According to lore - I've never heard this internally disputed or confirmed - it resembles what used to be New Coke."

Diet Coke with Splenda -

• Launched - May 2005
• Brand message as found on Coke.com website - "For those who love the wweet and intense taste of Splenda Brand Sweetener, now there's one more way to enjoy Diet Coke."
• Brand message as reported by SVP of Coca-Cola Brands - "An adult cola taste, it uplifts with style, and it's sweetened with Splenda, which is a sweetener people say they want. It's that simple."
• Flavor Profile per Coca-Cola's spokesman - "It's meant to mimic Diet Coke. But with Splenda, you will taste a difference, and the Splenda lover loves his new flavor note."

Coca-Cola Zero -

• Launched - June 2005
• Brand message as found on Coke.com website - "A new kind of beverage that features real Coca-Cola taste and nothing else. Nothing that could potentially get in the way of your chill."
• Brand message as reported by SVP of Coca-Cola Brands - "It's really the pause that lets them re-center in this fast-paced, time-warped world, and keep going. That's the 'just chill' part of the positioning."
• Flavor Profile per Coca-Cola's spokesman - "It's formulated to match regular Coca-Cola."

TaB -

• Launched - 1963
• Brand message as found on Coke.com website - "Tab has achieved a retro pop-culture status and has the reputation of being somewhat hard to find."
• Brand message as reported by SVP of Coca-Cola Brands - "It's continuing to meet the needs of the small but unbelievably passionate group of people who continue to love Tab, but it isn't actively marketed."
• Flavor Profile per Coca-Cola's spokesman - "It has a strong cola flavor, with that distinctive saccharine sweetness."

I knew I wasn't understanding what Coke was up to, but after reading all of this, the choice is clear ...