What to do about Shyness

A large number of people I work with consider themselves to be somewhat shy. It's no surprise, really, in that a survey of nearly 5,000 people by Philip G. Zimbardo of Stanford University, and as reported in his book Shyness: What It Is/What to Do About It revealed, "more than 80% of those questioned reported that they were shy at some point in their lives, either now, in the past, or always."

I found Dr. Zimbardo's ultimate message, as summarized on page 205 of his book, to be very coach-like:

+ You have control over what you feel and do.

+ You are responsible for those feelings and actions and for creating the consequences you want.

+ You have chosen to be shy and learned how to act like a shy person.

+ You can now choose NOT to be, if you are willing to UNlearn those old habits and substitute ones that work for your best interests.

+ You are free to do X, even when others say you cannot; you are free to refuse to do X, even when others say you must.

In talking about this with a client yesterday, he proudly said what he knew he needed to do: "I'm just going to find some people who are more shy than me so that I can still be myself, but be incredibly outgoing in comparison to those around me!"

Think about that. He'll probably have more fun, feel more confident, and be better able to be less shy in other circumstances he finds himself in.

That's pretty smart, don't you think?!