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Last Post of the Year: 2007

A moment out to thank everyone who played a part in making 2007 a truly wonderful year for me both professionally - through GottaGettaCoach!, Inc. - and personally. Again, thanks.

See you in '08!

Wynton Marsalis: Leadership Lessons

1. THINK BIG, BUT DON'T BE IMPATIENT. Deferring the rewards of long-term success is difficult but necessary if you are going to have the mental fortitude to achieve them.
2. BE PERFECT IN INTENTION; YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT IN EXECUTION. Mistakes, by you and your staff, will happen.
3. YOU CAN ONLY 00 THE BEST THAT YOU CAN DO. Keep your goals high, but don't set yourself up for failure. Be patient.
4. DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR A MISTAKE. APOLOGIZE IF YOU DON'T PLAY. Knowing that effort is what matters gives people the courage to always try their hardest.
5. STAY INSIDE YOURSELF; WHEN YOU DO, YOU'LL TAKE A RISK-BUT YOU'LL MAKE AN INTELLIGENT DECISION. Know your strengths and weaknesses.
6. BELIEF IN OTHER PEOPLE'S CREATIVITY ALLOWS PEOPLE AROUND YOU TO BE THEMSELVES AND ACHIEVE THEIR INDIVIDUALITY. If your staff members have the freedom to achieve as individuals, the returns will be manifold.
7. APPROACH YOUR TASK VERY SERIOUSLY-BUT WITH HUMOR. Discipline should never come at the expense of closing one's self to new ideas, and vice versa.
8. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO MAKE TOUGH DECISIONS, AND MANY TIMES THEY ARE UGLY. It's best to be very direct.
9. IT ISN'T MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY. Learn to compromise and be flexible.
10. WHEN YOU'RE A LEADER, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW, TOO. Good leaders know they don't have a monopoly on brilliant ideas. Be objective and willing to follow Insights you may have missed.
11. HUMILITY INSPIRES PEOPLE; ORGANIZATION INSPIRES A STAFF. Always try to give your staff clear plans and goals, but allow them room for self-empowerment.
12. RESPECT THE FREEDOM OF OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR CREATIVITY. JAZZ MUSIC TEACHES THAT ABOVE ALL ELSE. Giving your staff the freedom to improvise opens the floodgates on innovation.
13. YOU CAN'T LOOK AT ANY PERSON AND TELL WHETHER THEY CAN PLAY. ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE CAN PLAY. Some of the best talent can be found in the most unexpected places.
14. THERE IS NEVER ANY LIMIT OF WHAT YOU CAN DEMAND FROM SOMEBODY ELSE. Nothing erodes the spirit like a boss who can never be pleased.
15. BE FUNDAMENTALLY TRUTHFUL. Without truth, your success will unravel.

---

from Success Magazine, July 2007

Leadership Move #25: Consider the Opposite Sides of the Same Coin

Decisions are like coins in that each decision has two immediate implications:

1. What the decision allows or enables
2. What the decision prevents or precludes

In other words every 'yes' to one thing, means a 'no' to something else. So, when asked to weigh in on a decisions, then, it's prudent to consider both sides of the coin. For instance:

• Don't just consider what data exists - consider what data is missing, as well
• Don't just read a contract for what it specifically says - read it for what it specifically omits
• Don't just consider the implications of you approving something, consider the implications of you rejecting it
• Don't just think in terms of what will move an initiative forward, think in terms of what will prevent it from sliding backwards
• Don't just focus on what motivates people, consider what demotivates them
• Don't just attend to problems, leverage opportunities
• Don't just delegate to your star players, delegate to your entire staff
• Don't just challenge procedures that you don't like, challenge ones that your staff doesn't like
• Don't just respond to urgent, respond to important

Get the picture?

Use your leadership authority to expand frame of decisions-to-be-made and you'll likely dramatically improve the quality of your decisions - and those of your staff.

It won't take that much more time and will, no doubt, save you countless hours by helping you to actually 'solve' problems rather than just finessing them away, only to find them resurfacing again down the line.

A Prescription of Description

Here's an exercise to help challenge (and sharpen) your creativity. Time needed: About 5 minutes.

Pick an object and write down as many words as you can to describe it without actually naming what it is. When you run out of descriptions, rotate or flip the object to get a fresh perspective and continue. When you run out of descriptions again, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, put a smile on your face, and try once more.

Repeat with different objects as often as you'd like.

Source: Mental Agility (as cited in an article from a magazine who's name is nowhere to be found on the clipping I saved - Oops!)

Who Said Quitters Never Win?

As reported in the December 2007/ January 2008 issue of Scientific American Mind magazine:

"Psychologists asked 90 adolescent girls about their tendency to hold on to unattainable goals. Over the next year, they found that the girls who said they never gave up had more quickly increasing blood levels of C-reactive protein (CRP) as compared with the girls who were moderately good at letting go. High levels of CRP often precede the development of heart disease, cancer and diabetes."

Add to that the teachings of Seth Godin in his 2007 book, The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick):

"What really sets superstars apart from everyone else is the ability to escape dead ends quickly while staying focused and motivated when it really counts. Winners quit fast, quit often, and quit without guilt..."

So, as you look to complete the final month of 2007 and get ready for 2008, what "unattainable goals" might it make sense for you to quit?!

----
Thanks Eddie!

Wall Street Journal quotes Barry Zweibel

Perri Capel, columnist for The Wall Street Journal quotes Barry Zweibel in a 12/4/2007 piece titled, "When a Boss Is Unreceptive To New Views" published in both the on-line and print editions of the paper.


An expanded version of the article was also published by WSJ CareerJournal under the title of "How Can I Defuse TensionsWith a Difficult Manager?".

Chuck Norris is afraid of choking

The Chicago Tribune reported today that movie star Chuck Norris re-affirmed his intent not to run for public office ... for fear of "choking." Norris? Afraid? Choking? Well, sort of ...

In the tough-guy's own words:

"Let's say I run for a position in politics and I am debating my opponent and my opponent starts attacking my character and I leap over the bench and choke him unconscious, it's not going to help my campaign."

Ohhhh! Norris! Afraid! Choking! I get it now!

Isn't it interesting how a little context can so completely change the meaning of a message?

The underlying coaching questions, of course, are these:

How might YOU be misinterpreting others and how might THEY be misinterpreting you? And assuming it's happening, what do you want to actually DO about it?

Favorite New Quote

Here's my new favorite inspirational quotation by, poet and gardener, Genine Lentine:

"The question I am asked daily by the world is this: Was that all you wanted?"

And here's my new favorite recipe for having an incredibly-awesome day: Ask the world for something that will have it sit upright in its chair and say, "Wow! You've got my attention. Now let me see what I can do for you."

Try it and see for yourself. (Just don't get greedy.)

Leadership Move #18: Challenge them to Connect the Dots

Ever see that mind puzzle called the 9 Dots? You start with 3 rows of 3 dots, and the goal is to connect all 9 dots with 4 straight lines - oh, and once you start, you can't lift your pen off of the paper, meaning that the 'end' of each line must be the 'start' of the next one:



Go ahead and give it a try. (To see the solution, click on this second set of dots.)


The point here is that until you know how to connect the dots correctly, you don't. But once you do, you do. And by virtue of you having been promoted into a leadership role, chances are pretty good that you already know how to connect some dots that your staff does not.

Of course that doesn't mean you should always just give them the answer. No fun in that! (And not much growth and development for them, either.) But, with a few well-placed 'hints' you can certainly help them figure things out for themselves.

As example, what'd be a good hint for the 9 dots puzzle?

How about that the lines don't have to stay within the dots? Or that some of the the lines cross each other?

The broader leadership lesson is that by challenging staff to figure things out (and being there to provide a few hints, if necessary) you're enabling your staff - and your department as a whole - to get more done AND you're helping your direct reports learn and grow in ways that they might not otherwise. Why? Because if you're finding that they don't need your help, then you're probably not challenging them enough.

So what 'dots' don't they know how to connect? Is it understanding how a new assignment affects the company's bottom line? Is it how to integrate a project's goal into team members' other priorities? Is it knowing where to reduce line-item expenses without jeopardizing essential services? Is it understanding how talking with someone about a performance issue can be the highest statement of personal respect and regard?

Your Leadership Move is in challenging them to connect the dots - so that once they know, they know.

Fun Family (Thanksgiving) Rituals

Fun Family Rituals - the notion is that each family does stuff that may seem insignificant to others, but is actually very special in how it helps define family values, camaraderie and cherished memories. The fun, sometimes silly, stuff that families do, look forward to doing, remember doing and continue to do - through the years.

In honor of this Thanksgiving Day, here are some of the family rituals and traditions included in my Fun Family Rituals compilation (available for download at: http://www.funfamilyrituals.com/) as written by the very people who use them to celebrate both today's holiday, and their families:

" On Thanksgiving, my kids make a Thankful Box and have everyone in the house "deposit" an index card telling what they're thankful for. Then, before dessert, we read them one at a time and laugh and cry and thank our lucky stars for our family and friends."

"We always make a turkey for Thanksgiving - even if we go to a relative's house. Gotta have our own leftovers!"

"After Thanksgiving dinner, all the moms of our extended family get together with handfuls of cash. We take whatever we were planning on spending on each of our 13 nieces and nephews for Christmas and neatly separate it all into envelopes - each marked with a child's name. When everyone is done putting their money in, the moms get their own kids' envelopes so that they can spend the money on gifts 'on behalf of' the aunts and uncles."

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Vulnerability, Teamwork, and Personal Growth

Last week I had the opportunity to spend two days on a rustic team building retreat at Joy Outdoor Education Center in Clarksville, Ohio, courtesy of a corporate client, Hill-Rom, where the group learned about their Insights^® colors (courtesy of Scott Schwefel), did a high ropes course and related activities, endured gusts up to 34 mph and wind chills down to the teens (brrr!), shared emotionally-moving and personal stories deep into the night by light (and warmth) of a bonfire, slept in cabins, ate camp food, and stretched and grew in ways that were truly amazing. And that was Day One!

Day Two included a morning of coaching and facilitation, courtesy of yours truly, and an afternoon of detailed departmental planning and goal-setting, led by Phillip Saxton, president of MiTowne.

Initially, I perceived, and prepared for, my role as that of catalyst: "an agent that provokes or speeds significant change or action," as Merriam Webster might say. But as I settled into my bunk that first night it struck me that the 'change' I was there to provoke had actually already happened. Every single person, in their own special way, had already become so much more open, courageous, real - and vulnerable - with each other. The team knew it, liked it, and matched it, with a collective support, respect, regard, knowing, and appreciation.

That was the good news. The not-so-good news was that pretty much everything I had prepared for the following morning was now unnecessary and wrong! I no longer needed to help them change; my job was to help them solidify their changes.

It's one thing to watch others being vulnerable; it's something entirely different to be vulnerable oneself. Yet to be truly in service of the group I was there to coach, facilitate, and support, I knew I needed to honor and respect where the group now 'was' - and be completely present to, and enabling of, whatever needed to unfold from that point forward.

So, pre-dawn, and in keeping with the "Pushing the Limits" theme of the retreat, I decided to take what was to be the 'end' of my facilitation - an article called "Life is a ten-speed Bicycle," - and use it to start a conversational unfolding, if you will, where I would rely on my coaching instincts and the collective wisdom of the group to reach for something essential, but as of yet, unknown.

And so, for the next 3½ hours, quite powerfully at times, we explored, realized, agreed, and fine-tuned, what else was needed for this group of smart, capable, and caring professionals to truly coalesce into a single, unified, and unshakable, whole.

The ultimate outcome? Well that remains to be seen. To be sure, they're off to a very good start, but the team must consistently apply the Lessons Learned, aha's realized, and courageousness experienced for the ongoing magic to happen.

Will it be easy? Probably not. Is it doable? Definitely so. Is it likely? I actually believe it is.

As for me, I know that like everyone else, my comfort zone was significantly stretched these last few days - and in a number of different ways! (As I reflect on what that means, I feel a contented little smile coming to my face.) So for that, I thank each and every one of you who helped make that my new reality.

Now if I can just get that campfire smoke smell out of my clothing, I'll be all set!

Done with your Performance Reviews Yet?!

Been putting off those year-end performance evaluations because you can't figure out exactly how to say what you know needs to be said?

Well help is available in the form of an easily downloadable Special Report called: Employee Performance Discussions: 10 Important Things a Boss MUST Know How to Say.

Giving effective employee performance reviews is not about being a jerk. To the contrary - it's about being respectful, caring, succinct, and on-the-money with your observations, comments, recommendations, and requests. The better you do this, the more likely your staff's performance will improve. Perhaps more importantly, though, the better you do this, the more likely your staff's improved performance can be sustained over time.

Employee Discussions shows you how. In it, you'll find:

• 10 specific conversation "clarifiers" that can dramatically improve the performance of all employees - from your very best, to weakest, and everyone in between
• Specific phrasings of what to say, including when to say it, and why
• Concrete examples for you to follow in your own performance management discussions with your direct reports and lower-level employees
• An Application section that includes typical employee problem scenarios along with clarified and simplified scripts for giving constructive criticism
• A Locking-in-the-Learning section, where important coaching questions are raised for you to answer, and homework assignments for you to complete, so you can integrate these lessons more quickly and thoroughly into your management skill-set
• Primary Focus questions that directs your attention to recognizing how best to apply each specific ‘clarifier’ to your current employee performance situation.

Procrastinate no more - get your copy of Employee Performance Discussions at www.employee-discussions.com today and finish up those employee evaluations already!

Coaches and Therapists - How Different?: ICF Conference Breakout Session

While I've been to coaching vs. therapy presentations before, they were always lead by coaches. So I thought it'd be particularly refreshing to hear about it from the other side, as it were. Enter Dr. David Orlinsky, noted professor of Comparative Human Development at the University of Chicago.

Of all of his charts and descriptions offered, this was the one I found most helpful in articulating the differences:

Good set of distinctions, don't you think?

Thanks, David.

Julio Olalla: ICF Conference Keynote Speaker

The opening keynote speaker and Honorary Conference Chair of the International Coach Federation's 2007 Annual Conference was Julio Olalla, MCC, founder and president of the Newfield Network, an international education, coaching and consulting company.

A very engaging speaker, Julio spoke about the 'cognitive schizophrenia' that has developed in the modern world. He suggested that the world insists we focus on our exterior knowing - science, business, objects, the 'real' world, etc. - which we dutifully do. But lost in the process is our ability to connect with our interior knowledge - our hearts and souls, passions and beliefs, hopes, dreams, values, love, loyalty, appreciation for the wisdom of others and the very "cognitive possibilities" that flow from emotion.

The answer is not to swing the pendulum all the way to the other side, or even learn how to ably switch between exterior and interior paradigms in an effort to achieve so-called balance. Rather, he said, the answer is in learning how to unify our exterior and interior knowledge into a cohesive whole. (Coaching, by the way, is one of the few mechanisms available for directly enabling this type of learning.)

Easy? No. Possible? Absolutely.

Our existing 'cosmology', says Olalla - the story we've created for ourselves about how we fit into the world - is externally based:

O --> A --> R

Observers (us) take Actions that yield specific Results. Should we not like the Results, we simply change our Actions and try again. Note that we don't typically consider how we might change ourselves to modify the outcome.

What if we allowed ourselves to change in addition to (or even in lieu of) changing the actions we take? How might we more consciously and intentionally incorporate more of our interior knowing into the "O --> A --> R" model?

Quite possibly, the Actions we'd subsequently take (and want to take, for that matter) would be sufficiently different to enable some completely new Results heretofore unavailable to us.

Easy? No. Possible? Absolutely.

Coaching Next Level Leaders: ICF Conference Breakout Session

Scott Eblin, president of The Eblin Group, and author of The Next Level: What Insiders Know About Executive Success, started this session by positing that a full 40% of new leaders fail within 18 months. Some of the external reasons for that include shifts in the market and organizational dynamics, but it's the internal reasons that are more often the cause:

• being afraid to say, "I don't know"
• not listening well enough
• not getting the "lay of the land"
• fear
• not learning the new rules of the position
• the urge to control things
• not clarifying expectations and requirements

In looking for what to do about all this, Eblin interviewed several hundred seasoned executives, asking them two key questions:

1. What do you recommend executives "pick up" and "let go of" in order to be successful in their new roles?
2. What did you "pick up" and "let go of" that resulted in your success in your new roles?

Three key leadership presence elements emerged - personal presence, team presence, and organizational presence - each having 3 key elements to "pick up" and 3 key elements to "let go of":

Thanks, Scott.

ICF Conference 2007

Last week I was in Long Beach California attending the 12th annual conference of the International Coach Federation, along with about 1,500 other coaches from 36 different countries. International, indeed!

In addition to coaches from New Jersey, Colorado, Nebraska, New York, Minnesota, Missouri, Virginia, South Dakota, Pennsylvania, California, Illinois, Arizona, Massachusetts, and Maryland, among other states, I also met some wonderful coaches from Japan, Germany, Sweden, Canada, Brazil, Columbia, France, China, Australia, and New Zealand, as well. It's truly amazing to me how much the ICF - and coaching - has grown over the last several years.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I'll be blogging about some of the keynotes and breakout sessions that I thought were particularly interesting, intriguing, and relevant to a wider audience.

It was nice to be away. It's now nice to be back!

It's Not Still Spelled "Busy-ness" for a Reason

It was a good idea gone bad. "Let's call it 'busy-ness'," they said, "because that's what we want people to be at work - busy."

And so it was for about 200 years until, around the 14th century, some bosses started realizing that being "busy" wasn't exactly what they were looking for from their underlings. True, they did want diligence, but it had become apparent that what their minions diligently worked on made a huge difference in the profitability of the company. Who knew?!

So with this subtle, but powerful, distinction now understood, a similarly subtle, but maybe not as meaningful spelling change was agreed upon. The "y" was dropped, and an "i" was put in its place, and the word "business" was born! (At least that's the story that I made up about it.)

The problem, though, is that so many people are still so busy being busy, that they haven't stopped to read the memo.

So for the record, there is a difference between doing 'stuff' and getting stuff done. There is a difference between driving to work and driving key business results. And there is a difference between the busy-ness of work and the work of business.

Take a moment and review this with someone you're mentoring, would you please? It is a subtle, but powerful, distinction that everyone deserves to understand.

Taking it Off-Line

Scenario: You're attending a staff meeting, tensions are high, pressure is rising, and your boss turns to you and asks a very pointed, but tangential, question that the answer to which is likely to drag things (and possibly you) down further. You try to take it off-line, that is, suggest you talk about it later, but the boss says "No. We're talking about it now."

What to do?~

Talk about it now, responding as quickly, crisply, and in as a respectful, non-defensive manner, as possible, pushing back when necessary, but doing so because it's called-for, not just because you feel like it or don't know what else to do. And hope that it doesn't turn into an inquisition, of sorts.

That said, what can you do to increase the probability that your next 'off-line' request will be agreed to and accepted ? Here are some ideas:

1. Stay calm and composed - Nothing encourages a boss to go on the offense more than someone's defensiveness. Practice poise under pressure. It will serve you well.
2. Frame your rationale - There's a huge difference in wanting to talk about something later because it makes more sense to, and wanting to do so because you're trying to avoid even having the conversation. Clearly frame your reasons accordingly, citing one of two compelling reasons why a different time and/or different setting for the discussion would better serve to boss and be advantageous to everyone else.
3. Leverage your reputation - If your boss already knows you as a trusted advisor, this whole process becomes much more simple. Showing you're not afraid to 'dig in', 'hit things head on', and 'make the tough choices' - on a daily basis - will go a long way in times like these. Building a reputation that says 'credibility' gives you a foundation to stand on in such circumstances.

Leadership Move #20: Keep Learning

Although much of work is about showing what you already know, don't stop learning just because you're out of school. Indeed, thinking that you already know everything you need to know is a sure recipe for disaster.

When someone assumes that what worked to solve yesterday's problems is sufficient for solving today's problems, they're truly asking for trouble:

1. That a similar solution is what's called for suggests that there's an underlying problem being left unattended - a 'quick fix' typically treats only the symptoms, and symptoms have a tendency of reappearing at regular intervals until the underlying problem is actually addressed.


2. Today's problems are increasingly complex and subtle so simply trying to overlay 'what worked in the past' is not only unimaginative, and unproductive, it's likely fraught with several unintended consequences, which might just make things worse than they already are.


3. While what you already know might work just fine, it leaves the opportunity of being 'stellar' just sitting there on the table for someone else to pick up and run with.

Additinoally, there are some non-negative (that is, positive) reasons to keep learning:

1. People who are actively learning tend to be in a better mood, demonstrate more of an ability to think on their feet, and generally get more done.


2. People who are actively learning tend to connect better with those around them - which greatly facilitates teamwork and collaboration.


3. People who are actively learning naturally encourage others to actively learn, and perform at a higher level, as well - savvy?!

So where can you learn? EVERYWHERE:

• friends
• coworkers
• staff
• bosses
• customers
• vendors
• books
• articles
• trade journals
• magazines
• television
• podcasts
• radio
• CDs
• DVDs
• audio-books
• ebooks
• hobbies
• your company's training department
• the Internet
• continuing ed classes
• textbooks
• computer-based training
• manuals
• SMEs - subject matter experts
• white papers
• mentors
• your coach!
• spending some time just quietly thinking

And this is hardly an exhaustive list.

To become (or continue to be) a more compelling leader, you simply must keep learning - it's irrefutable.