In This IssueFeature Article: On Building Trust, Rapport, and Respect On Building Trust, Rapport, and RespectKnow this: Trust is EVERYTHING. A person who trusts you will work incredibly hard on your behalf. Conversely, a person who doesn't, won't. It's also important to understand that having organizational authority over someone is NOT the same as having them trust you - formal authority does not guarantee someone's trust in you. In fact, it often impedes the trust-building process. People will usually comply with authority because the boss has the organizational power to take actions against them if they don't. But mere compliance is not trust because in the 'moments of truth' when people selectively choose whether or not to give you the benefit of the doubt, your ultimate success will be determined by how much they actually DO trust you. So in very real terms, your trustworthiness will be put to the test - early and often. And it's a complex, and heavily layered test, at that:
To further complicate things, not everyone defines trust the same way. So to better understand exactly what trust is about let's start by looking at some people you trust already. Pick five of them - choose a mix of direct reports, family members, vendor contacts, children, etc. Talk with each one and ask, among other things, the following questions:
Now repeat the process with people you don't trust - not people you distrust, but people you don't know well enough yet to trust, or not - salespeople calling on you for the first or second time, someone you're sitting next to on a plane or at a dinner party; people like that. Ask a handful of them those same questions. You'll be surprised how refreshing - and insightful - conversations like that can be. And you'll be well on your way to better understanding what Trust really means to others and, more even importantly, how you can best demonstrate your ongoing trustworthiness to the people you work with on an ongoing basis.
At Home: How Do You Show You Care?Welcome to 2004. If you're like me here in wintry Chicago, you'll be spending a good amount of time indoors for the next few months. So here's your chance to rekindle the fire in the hearth - and your heart - by showing you really DO care. And to that end, here are some helpful hints to make your cocooning time all the more enjoyable - for the both of you:
Ask the CoachQuestion: I'm too much of an introvert. I know I need to network more, and interact with more people, but I'm just so shy. What can I do to become more outgoing? Answer: You may not realize this, but only 5% of the population says they've never struggled with shyness. So don't feel like you're alone - the vast majority of people want to be more extroverted, too. And while you CAN be shy, my guess is you can also be incredibly outgoing, engaging, and enthusiastic, at times, too. It just depends on circumstances. Need proof? Just go ask some colleagues and/or friends what they think. Chances are good that they'll have plenty of examples of how you're anything but shy. Chances are good that this will be the easiest thing anyone asked them about in a very long time. You? Shy?! We all have a tendency to make up rules about who we are and what we are (and are not) capable of. Sometimes the rules we make up, though, are very, very wrong or no longer serve us as they once did. So next time you're feeling shy, remember the times when you WEREN'T shy, and go be your outgoing, engaging, and enthusiastic self. Instead of labeling yourself as "usually shy", label yourself as "sometimes wonderfully outgoing and personable". You'll thank yourself for it. And who knows, in doing so, you might just inspire someone else to be a little more courageous that they thought they could be, too. Great Things I Didn't Say!
What's News at GottaGettaCoach!?CRS Financial Services of St. Louis, Missouri, retained GottaGettaCoach! for its business coaching services as did Gil Plumbing, of Grayslake, Illinois. Barry Zweibel was cited by Training & Development magazine as having provided "some of the best dialogue among learning professionals in the industry" - the second time in three months - this time for his views in opposition of "Mandating Training Hours". His most recent comments appeared in the November 2003 issue of the journal of the American Society of Training and Development (ASTD). Testing the Feasibility of Coaching - an article for trainers about coaching, by Barry Zweibel, was published in the October 2003 issue of ASTD Links. How To Improve Your Networking Skills, an article by Barry Zweibel, was chosen for on-line publication by Quest, a career transition assistance company that provides resume writing services, job interview preparation, and ongoing career transition support.
3-Click Challenge WinnerCongratulations to Sorab Pochkhanawala of Ontario, Canada, winner of the 3-Click Challenge and a free month of coaching! (More on the 3-Click Challenge.) AdministriviaThis edition of Not Just Talk! was written and created by Barry Zweibel,
president of GottaGettaCoach! Your comments, questions, and suggestions are welcomed. Email them to newsletter@ggci.com. To cancel your subscription, include the word CANCEL, in the subject field of your email.
And for more frequent food-for-thought, be sure to visit (and revisit) GottaGettaBlog! the ongoing weblog of Barry Zweibel and GottaGettaCoach! It's regularly updated with news, notes, and musings about coaching, mentoring, and getting more from your Untapped Potential - at work and in life. Current issue of the Not Just Talk! newsletter? 2004 by GottaGettaCoach! Incorporated. Use of any/all materials herein is wholeheartedly encouraged, providing full and proper attribution is included. | |||||||
