 |
published by GottaGettaCoach!
www.ggci.com;
newsletter@ggci.com
Northbrook, Illinois; 847-291-9735
Volume 1; 2qtr2003 |
Not Just Talk!
The newsletter that 'walks the talk'
about coaching and mentoring
in the workplace.
|
In This Issue
Feature Article: Is Silence Really
Golden?
At Home: How Do You Show You Care?
Ask the Coach: Your Coaching Questions Answered
Great Things I Didn't Say!
Administrivia
Is Silence Really Golden?
Everyone's heard this old bromide and ones like it:
"We have two ears and only one mouth for a reason." From it, you'd think that
silence is one of the best things since sliced bread. Yet quite often silence
does more to undermine effective communications in the workplace than you might
initially think. Maybe it's not so golden after all.
Seemingly, one of the most effective time- and priority-management techniques is
something I call Keeping the Boss Silent. It starts innocuously enough - you and
an employee are having a pleasant conversation. But the other person keeps
talking and talking with a filibuster-like fervor. If you had a point to make,
you've long forgotten it. And that assignment you had to give? It'll have to
wait because you're now running late.
Another technique that employees often use can be called Closed for Business.
Instead of keeping you silent, they keep silent themselves, using a two-step
process. Step One is called Hiding because if you, the boss, can't find them,
then you can't assign any more work to them. Once found, though, Step Two kicks
in. With the Silent Treatment, a person will seemingly "listen" to what you're
saying - even offer an occasional "uh-huh," or "okay," to keep you going. But in
reality, they're looking out the window or thinking about something else
entirely.
But don't think that employees are the only ones who leverage the Power of
Silence. Interviewers use prolonged silences as a form of behavioral Stress Test
for leading candidates. And who hasn't had a boss who used silence as Feigned
Support for a project or program while tossing it into the 'not now, not ever'
bin?
It's easy to see in others, but how might YOU be manipulating the silence? Who
don't you let talk that maybe you should? Who are you hiding from and why? Who's
talking to you even though you're not really listening? Who might you be
misleading or allowing to be misled? Answering honestly is the first step to
changing your behavior.
At Home: How Do You Show You Care?
Busy as we are with the ongoing
responsibilities and pressures of work, it's all-too-easy to forget to show
those back home how much we really care about them. Leaving little notes is a
fun thing to do that's almost guaranteed to bring a smile. Here are a few
'notable' ideas to start with:
-
Put a note saying "hello!" on his/her
car windshield;
-
Leave a note on the bathroom mirror
using a whiteboard marker;
-
Leave a short voicemail/send a short
email.
Ask the Coach
Question:
I'm not getting along as well as I'd like to with my boss. Can you recommend
something I can do to improve things?
Answer:
When bosses are asked what bugs them most about their direct reports, the answer
often has something to do with not being told what's going on. So I recommend
that my clients adopt an 'Unsolicited Update' program whereby they consider what
the boss would want to know about a current project and then update him/her
accordingly BEFORE the boss even asks. The benefits are threefold: First, you're
being proactive. Second, by anticipating what the boss would want to know,
you're thinking more strategically about your work. Third, it eliminates the
clutter, allowing you to utilize the time you DO spend with your boss more
effectively.
Great Things I Didn't Say!
-
"Buddha left a road map. Jesus left a
road map. Krishna left a road map. Rand McNally left a road map. But you still
have to travel the road yourself." - Stephen Levine
-
"Look at a stone cutter hammering away
at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it.
Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not
the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before." - Jacob A. Riis
-
"Action springs not from thought, but
from a readiness for responsibility." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
-
"The art of being wise is the art of
knowing what to overlook." - William James
-
"Put it before them briefly so they will
read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember
it and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." - Joseph
Pulitzer
-
"The finest eloquence is that which gets
things done." - David Lloyd George
Administrivia
This edition of Not Just Talk! was
written and created by Barry Zweibel, president of GottaGettaCoach!,
Incorporated. GGCI specializes in providing 1-on-1 management coaching and
mentoring support to executives and mid-level managers interested in increasing
their organizational impact and overall business effectiveness. For information
on how GGCI can help you - or your organization - please contact Barry Zweibel directly:
847-291-9735 (phone), bz@ggci.com (email),
www.ggci.com (web).
Your comments, questions, and suggestions are welcomed. Email them to
newsletter@ggci.com.
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? 2003 by GottaGettaCoach!
Incorporated. Use of
any/all materials included herein is wholeheartedly encouraged, providing full
and proper attribution is included. |