1qtr2004 - Ask the Coach: Better Un-Shyness

Question: I'm too much of an introvert. I know I need to network more, and interact with more people, but I'm just so shy. What can I do to become more outgoing?

Answer: You may not realize this, but only 5% of the population says they've never struggled with shyness. So don't feel like you're alone - the vast majority of people want to be more extroverted, too. And while you CAN be shy, my guess is you can also be incredibly outgoing, engaging, and enthusiastic, at times, too. It just depends on circumstances. Need proof? Just go ask some colleagues and/or friends what they think. Chances are good that they'll have plenty of examples of how you're anything but shy. Chances are good that this will be the easiest thing anyone asked them about in a very long time. You? Shy?!

We all have a tendency to make up rules about who we are and what we are (and are not) capable of. Sometimes the rules we make up, though, are very, very wrong or no longer serve us as they once did. So next time you're feeling shy, remember the times when you WEREN'T shy, and go be your outgoing, engaging, and enthusiastic self. Instead of labeling yourself as "usually shy", label yourself as "sometimes wonderfully outgoing and personable". You'll thank yourself for it. And who knows, in doing so, you might just inspire someone else to be a little more courageous that they thought they could be, too.